Kendall Jenner’s announcement

In my older posts I wrote about how at my lowest point I hid myself away and avoided going outside because I was embarrassed people would judge me; I can’t imagine how hard it must be to suffer from acne and be in the public eye, constantly being scrutinised.

I sympathise with Kendall Jenner however there is one difference between her and us- she is worth millions of pounds and can afford to be treated by the best Dermatologists. She has spoken in the past about how her dermatologist helped control her acne, her Dermatologists has spoken about how she has laser treatment. How can she then say that Proactiv is a miracle cure?

I have used Proactiv and can categorically state that it does not work.

Those of us that have suffered from severe acne know that drug store medicines do not work, Proactiv is no different to Oxy or Neutrogena products. It is a waste of money and I worry that desperate people will purchase it because Kendall Jenner has put her name against it and told the world she can relate to us.

I am disgusted with her lack of compassion.

Acne is always treated as something that will pass, something for people to make fun of; why for once can we not have a spokesperson that admits to the treatments they have had and the struggles they have faced? There is a stigma attached to acne, if you have acne you are ugly, and people are ashamed to admit a) that they have had it and b) that it didn’t magically go away on its own.

Acne is crying to your mum everyday because you hate yourself, acne is monthly doctors appointments with blood and pregnancy tests to be able to get the medication you need, acne is avoiding socialising and hiding yourself away because you don’t want people to see you, acne is depression and self loathing.

Someone who has truly felt the affects of acne does not sign a multi million dollar contract to endorse a product that does not work.

Shame on you Kendall Jenner, shame on you.

Spots, spots, and more spots

In the last post I wrote I explained how I had gone back to see my Dermatologist because ny acne had returned, I left that consultation expecting to receive and appointment to see him in clinic a month later to be prescribed Roaccutane but after months of e-mailing and calling to see what was happening because I heard nothing I still have heard nothing. I'm disheartened and yes, I have cried. My acne has come back with a vengeance, at the moment it's all along my jaw line and neck. The spots don't seem to be going away and as soon as one starts to fade another one pops up right next to it. It's a combination of pustules and hard lumps that don't come to a head and i'm using so much makeup trying to cover them up. My mum talked me in to going and having another peel done, she said while we're waiting (and waiting and waiting and waiting) for a dermatology appointment to come through I may as well do something proactive to try and control the spots. I booked into Skin Health Spa in town for a consultation so they could heal me decide what treatment would be best for me. We decided on the Azelan Peel which is an anti-inflammatory peel that contains salicyclic acid. If you've never had a peel then just to warn you they can feel hot and tingle but it's nothing too unbearable. I noticed over the next 4 days there was mild peeling but more like very dry skin. It did seem to make a difference and I’ll be booking another one soon. - Natalie

Adult Acne

I am 26 years old and in a months time will start my 4th course of Roaccutane.

A few weeks ago I had a bit of a breakdown to my mum, my skin was beginning to flare up again and I was slipping into my old habits of avoiding eye contact with people and only going out when I had to (to work etc). After weeks of her saying I looked fine and that you could hardly notice anything she told me to book an appointment with my Dermatologist. I was actually embarrassed to go back for my appointment; would he remember me? I know this sounds ridiculous and I can't really explain why this was something I was worried about. Also, what if my acne wasn't as bad as I was making out? What if I turned up for my appointment and he laughed at me? The problem when people are trying to be nice and tell you that it's not noticeable is you start to doubt yourself and think "maybe I should just live with it". I'm glad that I didn't because the minute he looked at me (and remembered me, thank goodness) he said my pores had enlarged and my acne had made a comeback- he also said that we needed to treat it because with time it would only get worse.

Adult acne apparently often begins to disappear when a person is in their mid twenties, however I am one of the lucky 5% who continue to suffer from it over the age of 25. Its not just the case of having the odd spot, I have clusters of very noticeable spots on different parts of my face; painful whiteheads that spread from one patch to the next and never actually appear to fade. I have scars on my cheeks, chin, forehead, and yes- as embarrassing as it is- my bum. If you haven't had the misfortune of waking up with a giant spot on your bottom that makes it too painful to sit then you have yet to face the true horrors of adult acne.

We all know how spots develop and how we are unfortunate enough to produce too much sebum which blocks our sebaceous glands, but the one thing that I think about the most is the fact that acne is hereditary. It is in my genes to suffer with this- I had no control over it! If one of your parents suffers from severe acne you will most definitely suffer from it too; acne has caused me great misery in my life so far- as petty as it is, I often think about whether my life would have been different had I not been so depressed and embarrassed throughout college and university- which leads me to the question that if I had children would they too be affected by severe acne? I couldn't bear the thought that I passed this on to someone else, that they would feel as miserable and ugly as I have.

"Are you on the pill?" Yes. Does it help? No. After I finished my last course of Roaccutane I went back on the pill because my skin started to get very oily again, I thought that the pill could help regulate my hormones and lessen the oil production but it didn't, and here I am 8 months later about to repeat the cycle of R. However, some people can control their acne with the pill because theirs is affected by their hormones so I would suggest taking the pill as the first step in trying to overcome acne.

One girl suggested to me yesterday that I try going on sunbeds to get rid of my acne; this is something I have heard people say since I was a young teenager but a) I have very pale skin and I burn in the sun, I think a sunbed would cause me more damage that good and b) almost all acne medication says to stay out of direct sunlight because it makes you more sensitive to it which makes me think that maybe sunlight/heat isn't the cure. HOWEVER, I went to Hong Kong to visit my sister and whilst over their my acne cleared up and when I returned it came back with a vengeance. When I asked my doctor why this happened he said my skin was adjusting to the new environment and had I stayed their longer my acne would have reappeared after it had adapted.

I don't use any skin care products with Perfume/Parfum listed as an ingredient; my skin is very sensitive and anything perfumed makes my face red and sore. I am one of those people who reads the ingredients on the back of products and you know what? I'm not alone! Ever seen the word noncomedogenic on the back of a moisturised? It means it's formulated so it doesn't block pores. The only moisturiser I trust is Cetaphil, it was recommended by my dermatologist, it's gentle, cheap, and I've previously written a post about it so check it out!

Acne makes me feel like an insecure, awkward teenage girl; I don't have a boyfriend because as the old cliché goes "no one will love you until you learn to love yourself". After years of being the ugly friend I have become sarcastic and cynical, I'm also wary of anyone that shows an interest in me because why would they like me? I have become a self saboteur when it comes to relationships all because I lack confidence- I am working on it but I have struggled with acne since the age of 14 and old habits die hard (I'm all about the clichés today). I don't talk about how I feel to anyone, I used to keep diaries to vent in but I find it very hard to communicate my feelings verbally to anyone; I'm aware of how unhealthy it is to keep feelings of sadness bottled up inside which is why every now and again (when I can't take it anymore) I break down in tears to my mother. - Natalie

Skin 6 months after Roaccutane

I finished my 3rd course of Roaccutane in August 2016. I was happy with the results, there were still a few little spots here and there but nothing like before, the only problem was the oil. I went back to the hospital about 1.5 months after I'd finished my course for a final check up and told them how much oil my skin was producing; it wasn't my usual doctor I was seeing but an acne nurse who told me "well you've had 6 months of this, you don't want to be on it for the rest of your life so if you need to come back get your GP to re-refer you". That was that. He prescribed me a tube of Isotrex and sent me on my way.

Since then my skin has been ridiculously oily; I can feel it forming on my face and am constantly having to reapply makeup and wipe away excess oil with blotting sheets. And with the oil came the spots!

The Isotrex (see my previous post: http://survivingacne.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/isotrexin.html) has done nothing to lessen the spots; in fact, the only thing that has helped is the erythromycin cream that I purchased from the pharmacy to help with the rashes that kept appearing on my hands whilst I was taking Roaccutane.

The spots on the side of my forehead in the above picture were there for at least 2 months; every time one would go another would reappear just next to it and nothing I did would get rid of them. I'm 26 years old, all I want is nice skin; is that too much to ask??

I've sent an e-mail to my dermatologist to ask for an appointment because no, I would rather not be on it forever but it seems to be the only thing that works and I can life with dry lips and hand rashes if it will help clear up my skin! I actually asked another Dermatologist who I know if there was any limits to how many times you could be prescribed R and she said there wasn't and pointed out that despite the research that acne is linked to depression the people who take it are generally happier as they feel that their skin is getting better!

If my Dermatologist does see me and does prescribe me another round of Roaccutane this will be my fourth go; has anyone else out there been on it this many times?

- Natalie

Goldfaden MD Doctor's Scrub

I've been off Roaccutane for around 5 months now (I'll do an updated post about my skin soon, promise!) but in the last few weeks I've started to notice the pores on my forehead are getting clogged, leaving the surface feeling bumpy.  

I went on a mission to by a facial scrub to help combat this; I wanted one that was very grainy, not perfumed, and one that I could use daily.

I came across Goldfaden MD Doctor's Scrub in Space NK; it was a bit of a splurge at £65 for 100ml but the texture was exactly what I was after!!

 

It contains:

1. Ruby Crystals that are perfectly round making it gentle enough to use on a daily basis
2. Hyaluronic Acid that's helps to increase collagen in the skin to lessen pores and wrinkles (basically, increases elasticity in this skin and renews skin cells)
3. Seaweed extract an antioxidant and firming agent. 

It's probably the best facial scrub I've tried, it doesn't irritate or dry out my sensitive skin and leaves it feeling silky smooth after each use.

 

A lot of the cheaper facial scrubs/exfoliators are perfumed but this is doesn't include any chemical ingredients, only natural antioxidants and plant extracts. It's also animal friendly which is a bonus!

- Natalie

How many tablets do you take a day?

I recently started taking 70mg and unfortunately the pharmacists had to give me a mix of 20mg and 5mg tablets

Today I took 10 tablets!

- Natalie

End of month 6

I went back to my dermatologist today for a monthly checkup; I've been taking R for 6 months now (mostly at 50mg) and I'm still breaking out. As this is my third time on R I would have hoped it would have cleared my acne up quicker and been completely effective! 

There hasn't been a day that my skin has been completely clear, you might look at pictures and think "what's she complaining about? My skin's much worse than that" but if I'm still getting spots now (6 months in and on the third course) what will happen when I stop taking it and it's out of my system? Why does it never work properly on me? 

At the moment I have 2 large puss filled spots in both of my ears that have been there for about 2 weeks and don't seem to be going! Every day when I wake up and at least one of my ears is filled with fluid!

Because my skin is so dry I keep getting tiny scabs on my face, mostly on my forehead.

My lips are very dry and wearing lipstick is literally impossible because my lips peel constantly.

Anyway, I explained to my doctor that I have still been getting spots and they decided to up my dosage to 70mg. I've only ever taken up to 50mg but they hope the increased dosage will help stop my spots once and for all. 

I'm due back in 3 weeks to check my progress and I'm hoping it works!

- Natalie